Destiny...A Long Way To Go

“I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve”

These are the words of a Nobel Peace Prize recipient Mr. Albert Schweitzer. For me this is a prodigious statement, reason is that such quotes are so much bewildering. These are voluminous words but then these have trivial meaning in our practical world. Also another reason is that there would always be another quotation by another eminent personality which would be consummately contradictory to the 1^st one. Hence that confusion deepens.

Anyways when I first read the quote I thought as to how we can seek destiny when we actually don’t know what it is. Destiny is when you have no control over life situations. That means that we cannot be certain as to what is our destiny. It is human psychology which prompts us to assume certain events or happenings to be our destiny. Hence it our mind’s conjecture and not the fact. Therefore till the time I am not assertive about my destiny how would I be able to progress towards its attainment. Recently I read that accordingly to The Science of Spirituality, in the present times 65% of our lives are ruled by destiny and 35% by willful action. Hence one point is emphatically proved that 65% of our life we have no control over our life. The learned men have given certain ways for the attainment of Destiny. One such way is by copious increase of usage of the willful actions (35%) The more we use the willful actions the less we will get dependent over destiny and therefore more chances of attaining it. Another solution provided is the “Path of Karma.” Karma is a Sanskrit word that means "action." According to Karmic Law one should perform his actions diligently without thinking of the rewards. As Lord Krishna said in the Bhagavad Gita: "To the man thinking about the objects (of the senses) arises attachment towards them; from attachment, arises longing; and from longing arises anger. From anger comes delusion; and from delusion loss of memory; from loss of memory, the ruin of discrimination; and on the ruin of discrimination, he perishes". I indubitably agree to this statement but I also have certain apprehensions regarding the same. I mean this is 21^st Century and nowadays everyone is more concerned about the rewards and want the maximum returns for minimum efforts. Whenever he does not get the anticipated rewards he migrates from that course and moves towards another. The hunger for maximum rewards leads the person to change the routes more frequently and hence the result is that he is still halted at the crossroad of life. Even after so long he is not sure as to what his destiny is and how should now he proceeds to achieve it. Hence in today’s time all the philosophies have gone for a toss.

Another reason why people have overdependence over Destiny is because of Convenience Factor. The Convenience factor is a very easy method in which the blame for failure can easily be put on Destiny rather than on own negligence, lack of effort or even confusion. Though there are many such instances but let me give you all 1 such instance. Prajwal and Swati were in love for the last 4 years and it seemed that one fine day they would surely get married. But alas that was not to happen and eventually such a bond broke due to some illogical reasons. After some tears both of them move ahead with their lives. The reason given for such a misfortune is that probably God has the best for store for them or that Destiny had some other plans for either of them.

I may sound harsh here but what I feel is that the Convenience Factor surfaces here. It is convenient for Prajwal or Swati to put the blame on destiny or on God. If the “Willful Action” were thoroughly and perfectly channelized towards the achievement of the heart’s desire then surely the result would have been different. The goals would have been achieved then as actions and rewards would go hand in hand and hence the feeling of attainment of destiny.

It seems so simple but the problem surges abreast when the percentage of dependence on Destiny augments from 65% and begins to march towards the century mark. This is the time when the mind and the heart start working totally in the conflicting directions and have not even an iota of relation or similarity amongst each other. When such a situation occurs then the person has no clue as to which direction should he move towards. The confusion grows and grows and the poor helpless person gets glued at that very place and waits for the Destiny to come to him which is not possible at all. His willful actions diminish and his faith and dependence on destiny increases manifold.

What I feel is that until and unless one tries, he would not achieve anything. If one keeps on trying and trying maybe couple of times he may not succeed but eventually success would kiss their feet and then he would know that success is counted sweetest after facing defeat. This is what Emily Dickenson said in her poem and I agree to each word. If the person stays glued at his spot and waits for Destiny to come towards him then he is bound to find himself at the same spot after many years too. If he tries and at least fail then at least he would know the various paths he should not wander upon to reach his Destiny. People have a tendency of associating failure with a wrong choice of the path to Destiny. No that is not always so, maybe the path chosen by you is right but the willful actions may be a little wrong. Failures are just a way of making you realize that “listen dude” you need to make certain changes in your “willful actions”. They should not be taken so much adversely and on the contrary should motivate one to give his best towards the ultimate goal of life.

Now can we know what our destiny is? Can anyone know what he or she is destined to do in life? If anyone can have a faint idea as to what it is then it would be much facile and the efforts could be channelized in a particular direction. Now a person can have a slight idea of his destiny if he carefully listens to the person inside him. That person resides in our inner conscience. Everyone has that person beneath their soul, that person guides you when `you are in any dilemma or confusion but we all tend to ignore that person’s opinion. Once we start paying attention to what this guy inhibiting in our inner conscience says then we would surely find the right “willful actions” required to reach our Destination. That person would guide us to the Do’s and Don’ts for attainment of the Destiny. Also what we have to do is to pay heed to what both our heart and our mind say. Accepting the ideas of either one of them would be a biased act and hence not the right decision. For that right decision we need to have the right mix of the heart and the mind for any deed we have to perform. Whenever the mind and the heart work in tandem they would act as the torch bearers who would enlighten your path towards destiny. And mind you this would be the same road that takes you to the road of success and eventually to your Destiny.

Platonic relationship – We are just friends……

Platonic love is a term commonly applied to an affectionate relationship into which the sexual element does not enter. It is generally used for friendship among opposite sex. Now this sounds so cute and ethereal but is it really possible?. Ya if we carefully analyze the definition then the possibility of the same can be righteously acceptable. The reason being that not all such relationships would have necessarily the physical element involved. So the question arises what term we would give to such a relationship in which the affection has converted into love and like a seed it germinates in the heart of one or both irrespective of the sexual ingredient.

If we individually scrutinize the words then According to the Oxford Dictionary, the definition of word "platonic" states "involving affection but not sexual love" and "relationship" signifies "emotional, especially sexual, association between two people."(refer to Oxford Dictionary).If I let my mind stagger to all directions as to find out any such successful relationship around me then my poor helpless mind wades back like a dumb dipsomaniac. The result is a large goose egg, a hill of beans.

Now I know there would be tons of people who would disagree with me and may have ample of exemplary epitomes. They would brag about how they and Mr. /Ms XYZ are so good companions and how never any such feeling have invaded their consummate alliance. Maybe they are right and maybe such a bond does exist. The reason why I am being a little tentative is that I feel that with time one of the two would succumb to the pressure of love. Then within some time the weird feelings would start to emerge in the innermost cordon of the heart. The toes begin to curl, the mouth becomes dry, the stomach begins to churn and the person becomes a gibberish fool. This is the time when a friend is in LOVE with his/her best friend.

Now why do these feeling of Love arise out of blue? What happened so sudden that the sweet friends are no longer friends and now what remains is anticipation that one day the other would realize he feeling and then a cute love story would emerge out of nowhere? There are certain instances which sprinkle the seeds of love in the garden of friendship. Let us take the example of Aarav and Sana.

• You can read my mind/I am an open book in front of you:

Now generally after some time the comfort level between the two increases to exorbitant level and then somewhere deep in the heart the question does arise whether he/she is the soul mate. Maybe this query is there for a second but then it sure does surface. Then there are certain statements which work as catalyst and hence increase the frequency of such feelings in a person. Let’s say Aarav says this above referred statement to Sana. Now it reflects how much Sana is an integral part of Aarav’s life. Maybe Aarav meant it in a friend’s manner but Sana would with time think otherwise. Now what would happen is that the seeds of love would get the required moisture (statements like these) and then the germination process would come up and a shoot of love would sprout.

• I am just not myself when I am with you:

“Surely Sana has feelings for me”. This is what Aarav would think after such a phrase by Sana. This thought would come only when Aarav himself would have some infinitesimal atom of feeling for Sana. Otherwise such a statement wouldn’t have bothered Aarav. Earlier also Sana used to say such statements but then Aarav never paid heed. From now on every such statement would be perceived like a sign (of love) by Aarav.

• You are the cutest person ever in my whole life.

What I’ve analyzed till now is that when a guy comes in the “so cute” side of the court then he has ruined all chances of being a soul mate. The reason being that gals would never associate their sweetheart with a “cute” trait. He could be handsome, dashing, sophisticated, and smart but if he is the cute guy of her life then the possibility of that guy of being her other half is negligible. Whereas Aarav thinks that he is now the most important guy in Sana‘s life and that there is surely something going on in Sana’s heart.

• My heart knows, you will always be there for me:

This statement emphasizes on the fact that the person is so important in your life that he/ she is expected to remain as friend throughout life. Whereas this statement is invariably mistaken as a line showing how much the person is in love with you but isn’t saying it evidently but giving adequate signs.

• Take care – Miss you – Love you:

This is a gradual progression towards misconception. Let me explain this point in detail. When a couple are very good friends and are an ideal example of platonic relationship they associate each other with “Take Care”. Soon this changes to “Miss U” and slowly to that dreaded word “Love U”. Now one would wonder whether this is carefully used technique by the person who has already some feelings for the other or just a casual way of showing affection (not love but affection) by the other person. Any which ways the person in Love would take it as a positive sign and Love seed would slowly turn into a bud and from a bud it would surely turn into a flower. Hence there is no turning back from there.

Once the feeling emerges what happens is very evident. There are two alternatives. Let’s says Aarav’s heart has slowly and steadily amplified the feeling of love towards Sana and Sana is ignorant towards the same. Either Aarav garners courage and tells Sana brazenly with his head help high as to what changes he is going through and how he has developed feelings for Sana. The other alternative is that as a true friend he would wait and wait till he feels that the Sana would one day automatically realize Aarav’s feelings and would acknowledge the same with an impassioned “YES”. Practically speaking the probability of the latter one is much more but generally that “Yes” never actually materializes as Sana would either never find out what are Aaravs expectations or would ignore them so as to prevent any embarrassing situation. Even if such situation occurs Sana has many options and some of which can be used more often are:

• I just want to be friends.
• I don’t want to risk our friendship.
• I don’t look at you that way.
• I can’t take the chance so as to do anything to hurt you.

After such explanations never ever would the person dare to speak his heart and slowly the friendship would also dwindle into oblivion.

So as an author I feel that this road is quite tricky and a healthy platonic relationship requires too much sincerity on part of both the parties involved. A conscious effort is required not on part of one but both of them. If a healthy platonic relationship can weather this storm then no force in this universe can ever hamper such a pious bond of friendship.

Far Yet So Near! Really?

“Love you Baby!” These three romantic words poured with ease out of Raghav’s mouth. The timbre had an element of resonance which portrayed the love which Raghav had for the damsel. These three meager words always created such an alluring illusion in Tanya’s mind that she used to imagine herself in Raghav’s arms that very instant. The distance of hundreds of miles was no obstacle in her flight of imagination.

Raghav meanwhile was all in deep slumber with just 5 % consciousness left in him. I can say without a doubt that Raghav is awe – inspiring artist. He had marveled the act of pouring out these three words without disclosing the sleepy state he was actually in. How he used to create that magic with that baritone is still a mystery for me?

Now a quick peek at the clock one would wonder why Raghav is dozing off daily at 6 pm. Aww, I forgot to mention that it was 6 p m, American time. In India the time would be 3. 30 am. This is the time when everyone around Raghav is deep in slumber.

This is a short glance on day to day or should I say day to night activity of a couple who are embraced in a long distance relationship spread across continents.

Sooner or later Tanya’s going to find out about this robotic manner of Raghav and then certainly the relationship would tour sour. Now if one would try to conclude as to whose malfeasance it would be then there would not be any clear answer. I mean Raghav did keep himself awake just to have a chat with his beloved. He was trying his best to keep the bond unimpaired. Tanya on the other hand was always allegiant to Raghav and called him daily so that the distance among them doesn’t let any feeling of deprive or vicissitude sink in Raghav’s mind.

So now the question may soar as to whether this long distance relationship is just a baloney or is it a remote possibility.

So what are some of the incidents which sooner or later cause a rift between two lovers and which are indubitably unintentional? Let me continue with the example of Raghav and Tanya only to validate my arguments:

• I love you more since the time I have come here: Now this is such a cliché statement. For some months this love u’s and miss u’s would sound like music to the ear but continuously ranting the above hackneyed phrase leads to indifference on the part of the partner. Now why would that be so? I would explain this answer with the next point as it is very cohesively co – related.

• The party was awesome; Prajwal could not stop admiring about my dress: Now continuing with the co – relation I was talking about, such remarks are bound to make Raghav jealous. That’s a human psyche and is inherent in every person. A homo-sapien cannot always be reasonable. The first thought that would hit him would be that on one hand she is saying that she misses me and loves me more and on the other hand she goes out with other guys ( here the emphasis would solely be on guys, gals he would completely ignore) on weekends. The mere thought that she should stay at home throughout the week, miss him and not go out anywhere is just too ridiculous. This is an unreasonable thought reason being that he is not appreciating the fact that Tanya’s being frank one here and telling him everything what is happening in her life. Infact that how the minds adversely work at that time, he starts imagining stuff which did not even take place. Here I want to bring to your notice one important fact. The dangerous thing here is that he keeps on accumulating such events in his mind and hence such an act helps in originating a volcano of suspicion and rage in him which would be very devastating when it erupts.

• We should talk at least two times a day: Now this is what Raghav and Tanya decided before she left for States. I really don’t understand whether this is a way to show how much they love each other or it is a way to screw each other’s night sleep. During the first few weeks it’s exciting and sounds so romantic to lay all night awake and talk to each other. Later on it just becomes a formality and then it leads to the emergence of the robotic and mechanical Raghav I was talking about earlier. The simple solution would be to call whenever one miss each other genuinely, why to make a time table for it. It would just weaken the bonding.

• That German gal/guy in my building is sooooooo handsome or did you find any good gal/guy for yourself: These statements may sound trivial and completely harmless but mind you these may be the iota which starts it all. I completely believe that the mind turns from reasonable to the opposite very swiftly and expeditiously without any cause. Hence these words which are just for pun and are rendered harmless by one would transform into a monster in near future. Of course Raghav would talk to other gals and Tanya would one day have a talk with that handsome German guy then the wicked imagination would start playing its atrocious game. The Satan would just drop the seeds of suspicion in the garden of that relationship. The rest would be history eventually.

• I really want you to tell me everything. I want to be part of your happiness: This has a different impact on individual sexes. Raghav would act as if he is so excited and happy when she tells him about her American adventures and reveling weekends. Raghav is benefitting from this habit of Tanya i.e disclosing everything to him. Actually as a possessive lover Raghav is more interested to know about her company rather than the parties. This way he can know everything about who all are around her (by that I mean the guys) In short Tanya herself is helping Raghav in creating the suspiocious ambience which would later lead to the downfall of such a precious relationship. On the other hand Tanya would also have an ersatz mask over her actual self. The reason being that howsoever fabulous or entertaining weekends Raghav have they would always fall short as compared to Tanya’s in America. So after some time she would get bored and hence the world of artificial cheerful disposition comes alive where both of them start acting just to keep each other animated. This howsoever would come to an end one day thus crushing the dreams of two love stuck doves.

As the author I cannot be biased so as to judge whether such a relationship would last long or just wither away soon. Personally speaking if the understanding between the two is strong then no circumstance is big enough to negatively affect this pious bond called LOVE. Hence I would pray to the Almighty that all the relationships should have an happy ending and his grace should always be with everyone who advocates love.

The Rise of “Mr Weed”

There was a time when I was proud of my english writing skill. The feeling was so prominent in me that I was over zealous and extremely pompous about my expertize.Though the neatness in the alphabets and the sentences always played hide and seek with me and were able to elude me but the content as well as the spellings were satisfactory enough to subdue my narcissistic ego.

Then arrived the era of SMSing. It was like the Katrina(cyclone) engulfing everything which came its way.Hence it gave birth to a new language. Hmmm now lets call this language by the name of Mr Weed.I have a pretty good reason for the same.

Now the addiction of the SMSing language is so intensified these days that it reminded me of the green grass. Just like weed the more you come in its grasp the more you will enjoy its presence.

The problem is that it is not only the guy/gal who employs SMSing aka Mr Weed takes pleasure in it but also the one who comes in its contact.It is so enchanting and magnetic that others cannot resist its charm and are trapped into the maze created by Mr Weed. Now frankly speaking

I did not succumb to the evil of Mr Weed initially.I was faithful to the traditional english speaking and writing pattern. I used to feel sublime amongst the lot because of my loyalty to the language and felt unique and special .

Then one day some colleagues told me that my manner of writing a SMS was very monotonous and portrayed a fairy tale narration. This made me ponder a little and I thought that there is no harm in altering my writing ways diminutively. That would make me a better writer. Since then there is no looking back.

To show the impact of Mr Weed and to prove that how now he is my best companion I am jotting down a poem in memory of Mr Weed.

How did “You” turned into ” U”, “The” into a meager “D”,

My appetite for english was of a hippo now its turned into that of a bee.



The verbs were so elegant and articulate and always ended with a “G” (dancing. sleeping)

Now these verbs are like lame ducks and the “G” we cant anymore see (dancin, sleepin)



Mr Weed is growing rapidly day by day,

Intoxicated by its presence, on a “HIGH”we all lay.



Sooner or later Mr Weed would transform itself to greater height,

Then Ill have to change its name to Mr Meth, Missy Crystal or Mr White ( modern day drugs)



While my mind is pondering over this grave matter,

My mailbox beeps depicting a mail with “FYI”(another short form of for your information) from my superior,



I really want to pluck Mr Weed and throw him down the drain,

But then everyone is loving him so why to put my efforts in vain