Platonic relationship – We are just friends……

Platonic love is a term commonly applied to an affectionate relationship into which the sexual element does not enter. It is generally used for friendship among opposite sex. Now this sounds so cute and ethereal but is it really possible?. Ya if we carefully analyze the definition then the possibility of the same can be righteously acceptable. The reason being that not all such relationships would have necessarily the physical element involved. So the question arises what term we would give to such a relationship in which the affection has converted into love and like a seed it germinates in the heart of one or both irrespective of the sexual ingredient.

If we individually scrutinize the words then According to the Oxford Dictionary, the definition of word "platonic" states "involving affection but not sexual love" and "relationship" signifies "emotional, especially sexual, association between two people."(refer to Oxford Dictionary).If I let my mind stagger to all directions as to find out any such successful relationship around me then my poor helpless mind wades back like a dumb dipsomaniac. The result is a large goose egg, a hill of beans.

Now I know there would be tons of people who would disagree with me and may have ample of exemplary epitomes. They would brag about how they and Mr. /Ms XYZ are so good companions and how never any such feeling have invaded their consummate alliance. Maybe they are right and maybe such a bond does exist. The reason why I am being a little tentative is that I feel that with time one of the two would succumb to the pressure of love. Then within some time the weird feelings would start to emerge in the innermost cordon of the heart. The toes begin to curl, the mouth becomes dry, the stomach begins to churn and the person becomes a gibberish fool. This is the time when a friend is in LOVE with his/her best friend.

Now why do these feeling of Love arise out of blue? What happened so sudden that the sweet friends are no longer friends and now what remains is anticipation that one day the other would realize he feeling and then a cute love story would emerge out of nowhere? There are certain instances which sprinkle the seeds of love in the garden of friendship. Let us take the example of Aarav and Sana.

• You can read my mind/I am an open book in front of you:

Now generally after some time the comfort level between the two increases to exorbitant level and then somewhere deep in the heart the question does arise whether he/she is the soul mate. Maybe this query is there for a second but then it sure does surface. Then there are certain statements which work as catalyst and hence increase the frequency of such feelings in a person. Let’s say Aarav says this above referred statement to Sana. Now it reflects how much Sana is an integral part of Aarav’s life. Maybe Aarav meant it in a friend’s manner but Sana would with time think otherwise. Now what would happen is that the seeds of love would get the required moisture (statements like these) and then the germination process would come up and a shoot of love would sprout.

• I am just not myself when I am with you:

“Surely Sana has feelings for me”. This is what Aarav would think after such a phrase by Sana. This thought would come only when Aarav himself would have some infinitesimal atom of feeling for Sana. Otherwise such a statement wouldn’t have bothered Aarav. Earlier also Sana used to say such statements but then Aarav never paid heed. From now on every such statement would be perceived like a sign (of love) by Aarav.

• You are the cutest person ever in my whole life.

What I’ve analyzed till now is that when a guy comes in the “so cute” side of the court then he has ruined all chances of being a soul mate. The reason being that gals would never associate their sweetheart with a “cute” trait. He could be handsome, dashing, sophisticated, and smart but if he is the cute guy of her life then the possibility of that guy of being her other half is negligible. Whereas Aarav thinks that he is now the most important guy in Sana‘s life and that there is surely something going on in Sana’s heart.

• My heart knows, you will always be there for me:

This statement emphasizes on the fact that the person is so important in your life that he/ she is expected to remain as friend throughout life. Whereas this statement is invariably mistaken as a line showing how much the person is in love with you but isn’t saying it evidently but giving adequate signs.

• Take care – Miss you – Love you:

This is a gradual progression towards misconception. Let me explain this point in detail. When a couple are very good friends and are an ideal example of platonic relationship they associate each other with “Take Care”. Soon this changes to “Miss U” and slowly to that dreaded word “Love U”. Now one would wonder whether this is carefully used technique by the person who has already some feelings for the other or just a casual way of showing affection (not love but affection) by the other person. Any which ways the person in Love would take it as a positive sign and Love seed would slowly turn into a bud and from a bud it would surely turn into a flower. Hence there is no turning back from there.

Once the feeling emerges what happens is very evident. There are two alternatives. Let’s says Aarav’s heart has slowly and steadily amplified the feeling of love towards Sana and Sana is ignorant towards the same. Either Aarav garners courage and tells Sana brazenly with his head help high as to what changes he is going through and how he has developed feelings for Sana. The other alternative is that as a true friend he would wait and wait till he feels that the Sana would one day automatically realize Aarav’s feelings and would acknowledge the same with an impassioned “YES”. Practically speaking the probability of the latter one is much more but generally that “Yes” never actually materializes as Sana would either never find out what are Aaravs expectations or would ignore them so as to prevent any embarrassing situation. Even if such situation occurs Sana has many options and some of which can be used more often are:

• I just want to be friends.
• I don’t want to risk our friendship.
• I don’t look at you that way.
• I can’t take the chance so as to do anything to hurt you.

After such explanations never ever would the person dare to speak his heart and slowly the friendship would also dwindle into oblivion.

So as an author I feel that this road is quite tricky and a healthy platonic relationship requires too much sincerity on part of both the parties involved. A conscious effort is required not on part of one but both of them. If a healthy platonic relationship can weather this storm then no force in this universe can ever hamper such a pious bond of friendship.